Today I am 21.
Freakin 21.
Almost a quarter of a decade.
Wow.
- - - - - - - - - -- - - -
Well, at this point, maybe like everyone else, i’ll be
thinking slash contemplating what i did for the past years that is actually
useful for this world. And the answer is like probably everyone else, (unless
you’re like, malala) is no, i think i didnt do shit. Hahaha
But i think i’m more mature now, birthday wise. This year I
actually don’t hope for presents (well i still kinda want them but i won’t be as sad if i didn’t get em)
this year I actually hope that I can earn money by myself. I’m lucky that my
parents still pay my bills because i’m still in college. And being an art
student, it isnt cheap, maybe the tuition is kinda cheap for college but man,
every week I gotta buy supplies for projects and everytime I ask money to my
parents for these stuff it’s like ripping my heart out.
Other things that I hope at this birthday is to be more
content and calm. This semester has been a wild roller coaster ride,
emotionally and physically. This semester I got lots and lots of new friends, I
joined a Student Orchestra which is great, lots of new friends from diferrent
backgrounds and different instruments, one of them even likes to knit too and
we now sometimes sell our stuffs at festivals and fairs! I sometimes have jobs performing and currently been practicing
everyday over 3 months for a big concert. And I too recently joined some type
of sudent council(?) I don’t really know the word in english but we make
seminars and projects and lots of stuff and that’s a lot of fun too. But all of
these has kinda take my time off. I mean, it’s great that I’m more productive
but sometimes it’s just overwhelming. At least in my head. I think I just gotta meditate more.
Last thing that I hope is, to know what will I do with my
life? I know I will do something with art, there’s no doubt about it. Art, is
my passion, my life, and i believe that is my calling. I’m majoring in product
design now, I really like it, but sometimes i question it. I know maybe it
sounds kinda ungrateful because I draw and make stuff for studying not algebra
or math, but really, I sometimes question my desicion. I didn’t enjoy making
things like I usually do, I dread it now. Like really dreading it. My projects
now, I dont do it right awal like i used to. Maybe it’s because I’m taking the
wrong major? I realized I really enjoy making stuff from fabric, but I dont
actually want to be in fashion. I really like to draw too, but I don’t only
want to make 2 dimensional stuff, that’s why I dont take visual communication
design. I really love fine arts too, but I don’t want to make stuff that is
only please the eyes, I want it to be functional too.
Thanks for reading this piece of my mind. Taking off something from your chest is feels good, and
you guys should do it too!
Aaaand Happy Birthday to me!
*P.S. : I'm actually writing this at the library, Guess there's no party today
