Birthday

Today I am 21.

Freakin 21.

Almost a quarter of a decade.

Wow.

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Well, at this point, maybe like everyone else, i’ll be thinking slash contemplating what i did for the past years that is actually useful for this world. And the answer is like probably everyone else, (unless you’re like, malala) is no, i think i didnt do shit. Hahaha

But i think i’m more mature now, birthday wise. This year I actually don’t hope for presents (well i still kinda want  them but i won’t be as sad if i didn’t get em) this year I actually hope that I can earn money by myself. I’m lucky that my parents still pay my bills because i’m still in college. And being an art student, it isnt cheap, maybe the tuition is kinda cheap for college but man, every week I gotta buy supplies for projects and everytime I ask money to my parents for these stuff it’s like ripping my heart out.

Other things that I hope at this birthday is to be more content and calm. This semester has been a wild roller coaster ride, emotionally and physically. This semester I got lots and lots of new friends, I joined a Student Orchestra which is great, lots of new friends from diferrent backgrounds and different instruments, one of them even likes to knit too and we now sometimes sell our stuffs at festivals and fairs!  I sometimes have  jobs performing and currently been practicing everyday over 3 months for a big concert. And I too recently joined some type of sudent council(?) I don’t really know the word in english but we make seminars and projects and lots of stuff and that’s a lot of fun too. But all of these has kinda take my time off. I mean, it’s great that I’m more productive but sometimes it’s just overwhelming. At least in my head. I think I just gotta meditate more.

Last thing that I hope is, to know what will I do with my life? I know I will do something with art, there’s no doubt about it. Art, is my passion, my life, and i believe that is my calling. I’m majoring in product design now, I really like it, but sometimes i question it. I know maybe it sounds kinda ungrateful because I draw and make stuff for studying not algebra or math, but really, I sometimes question my desicion. I didn’t enjoy making things like I usually do, I dread it now. Like really dreading it. My projects now, I dont do it right awal like i used to. Maybe it’s because I’m taking the wrong major? I realized I really enjoy making stuff from fabric, but I dont actually want to be in fashion. I really like to draw too, but I don’t only want to make 2 dimensional stuff, that’s why I dont take visual communication design. I really love fine arts too, but I don’t want to make stuff that is only please the eyes, I want it to be functional too.

Thanks for reading this piece of my mind. Taking off something from your chest is feels good, and you guys should do it too!

Aaaand Happy Birthday to me!

*P.S. : I'm actually writing this at the library, Guess there's no party today